Have you ever wondered what a healthy family is supposed to look like?
If you’re anything like me, you can look back at your family growing up and pick out all the things that went wrong. No offense mom + dad. You did a lot right ?
If we really sit and think we can all pick out quite a few things our parents got right, but our minds just tend to land on the negative.
We say things like, “I’ll never treat my spouse that way.” “I’ll never be THAT parent.”
We can identify what a healthy family isn’t, but we just can’t put our finger on what a healthy family IS. So, we just do our best… we guess…??
If you find yourself in that camp I want to first challenge and then encourage you.
IMAGINE THIS SCENARIO WITH ME… You want to take your kids somewhere fun. You look up a special location and KNOW they’re gonna love it! You pack everyone in the car and start it up but aren’t 100% sure how to get to your location.
In that moment, without even thinking, what do you do?
You put the location into your GPS.
You don’t say, “Guys, I have this great plan! Today is gonna be so fun! I’m not entirely sure how to get to where we’re going, but I’m sure if I just drive… eventually we’ll get there.”
No one in their right mind would ever do that. But that’s what we do with our families.
When we get married we have every intention of being great spouses. When we have our first baby, we feel pretty confident that we’ll be great parents. We have a general picture of what we want our lives to look like, but the problem is that we never map out the journey to get there.
Can I just encourage you? THERE’S A BETTER WAY.
I believe with everything in me that there is a God in heaven that created us, created the whole concept of marriage and family, and knows how it all works best.
I believe He gave us a roadmap, so we can know exactly what to do and how to get there. I also believe He gave us a pretty epic co-pilot (aka the Holy Spirit) to remind us of ALL His directions.
But we still have to put in the work.
IF YOU’RE READY FOR THAT, HERE’S WHAT I WOULD SUGGEST YOU DO:
- Look up verses in the Bible on marriage and parenting.
- Read good books on those topics.
- Sit down as a family + plan out how you’re going to implement your new-found knowledge.
HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES:
- Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.” In order to protect your marriage you decide that you aren’t going to spend time alone with a member of the opposite sex.
- Parenting with Love and Logic encourages you to have your kids solve their own problems, so you decide that when they come to you with a problem you’ll ask them what THEY think they should do. Or better yet, what they think Jesus would do.
I wish I could say this sitting down and making a plan was a one-time deal, but it needs to be a regular conversation. Just like a road trip, there will be detours, and you’ll need to course correct. But I can assure you, it’s worth it.
And if you’ve been married for a long time, or have grown kids you can probably look back and see some mistakes. Who are we kidding… If you’ve been married or parenting for even a day you can look back and see some mistakes. Here’s the good news. GOD’S MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING!
Today is a new day, and your tomorrows can be greater than your yesterdays. I believe in you, but more than that I believe in the God that wants to empower you. Now get out there and get ‘er done!
Because there’s a better way,
Sarah + Trent
